Ok, first, I disagree that the women were flawless and the men were flawed.
Leia was not "flawless" at all, for starters. It's implied (although we never see it and they never directly address it in the films) that Leia was kind of absent from parenting Ben, and/or that she pushed him into being a Jedi when he really either wasn't ready or didn't want to. She was focused on her political career, which apparently didn't last because now she's running an insurgent group. And as a mother, she absolutely failed because her son is a wannabe fascist tyrant and a murderer -- including his own father, and her marriage fell apart. In TLJ...she's mostly unconscious. She reprimands a few guys, cries about her brother (I think?) and that's about it. In TROS, as I recall she was barely in it (because Carrie had died), but she and Han kind of redeem Ben. Other than that, she trains Rey some, goes thru some training herself in some flashback and...dies. That's not flawless. If anything, I'd say that's "barely in it." By contrast, the male characters got a lot of screen time. Han dominates TFA before he gets shanked by his kid. Luke is an enormous part of TLJ. And by TROS, none of them are really around, except for the aforementioned bits with Han and Leia (maybe Luke was in it, but other than a voice at the end, I don't remember. There's a lot about that movie that's hazy for me and I've only seen it once).
So, who's left? Well, let's see. There's Rose, who's in one movie and gets sidelined in the next one. In the one movie, she, likewise, is not depicted as flawless. She's right along there with Finn and Poe, leading the way on their failure of a plan to somehow break the encryption of the hyperdrive tracking, making just as many bad decisions as those other two do. The one (1) moment where she shows a modicum of being "better" than Finn is when she prevents him from suiciding into the big cannon because she believes there's another way to beat the First Order. Again, not flawless.
And that leaves us with Rey. Now, Rey is THE central figure for the trilogy. She is the OT Luke of this trilogy. And like Luke, she's good at a lot of stuff. She can fly super well. So could Luke. She's got amazing aim. Luke had that, too. She can apparently pick up and wield a lightsabre almost perfectly with zero to minimal training. Just like Luke. And she becomes a Jedi after some indeterminate amount of time thanks to the power of time compression in films. Again, just like Luke. Now, they do some stuff in the film that lampshades her abilities in ways they didn't do with Luke. Her familiarity with the Falcon, for example, and her "No idea!" response when Finn asks how she can do this is a great example. It's finally explained in TROS as being, I guess, because "ShE's A pAlPaTiNe" or whatever, but I always found that to be a weakass explanation in a film full of weakass "put a bow on it" moments. But really, most of the problems people have with Rey come from, I think, JJ's love of "mysteries." In TFA, he seeded a bunch of these, as we've discussed to death here. But one of them is "Why is Rey so powerful?!"
TLJ, to it's credit I think, responded with "Oh for f--IT DOESN'T MATTER WHY. What matters is what she chooses to do with that power." The "why" of it is all about satisfying the audience's desire for explanations, and has zip to do with the character and what makes her tick or her growth. That's not to say that the answer can't be made to be relevant to the character's growth (example: the explanation for Luke's power being that he's Anakin's son, and more importantly that Anakin is Vader makes the explanation directly related to Luke's internal conflict about his destiny and what his parentage means for that). I far prefer the "Rey's a nobody. She's powerful for reasons we can't explain, and that's fine, because what matters isn't why she has the power, but what she does with it and what that says about her as a person." The rest is window dressing. I would also argue that Rey exhibits some major flaws in both TFA and TLJ (again, can't really remember TROS that clearly). She consistently tries to walk away from her position as the galaxy's future savior, rejecting the mantle of hero even though she has the power to help people. That, to me, is a HUGE flaw. And arguably one that Luke never exhibited. Luke was all in on being a hero and accomplishing his destiny. He might've made bad choices while doing it, but he never was like "Yo, this ain't for me, man. Can't you old guy heroes do it instead? Look, I even brought your old sword back for ya." Rey, however, does exactly that. She hard rejects the mantle of hero, and she casts about for answers as to her parentage because she doesn't want to have to make a choice for herself. If anything, I think TLJ leans hard into Rey's flaws, but they're flaws that are deeper and more about her character than "Oh, you had a dumbass idea that didn't work out."
TROS explains the whole Palpatine thing (poorly), and tries to do the "I....am your father" thing, but it doesn't really land because it's all happening at the 11th hour in the middle of a roller coaster ride, like you're trying to explain the plot of Tenet to someone while playing laser tag with them. That stuff all has less to do with wokeness and waaaaay more to do with plain ol' sloppy storytelling. Although I suppose "Rey might give into her rage and anger and go all darkside!" is something they try to highlight. It just doesn't really have any time to breathe or register with the audience because (1) it's undone in seconds after it happens, and (2) who cares we're on to the next thing anyway even if it had stuck around. NOTHING lasts in that movie because it's too busy barreling towards the end credits with no time to take a breath.
As for how it'd play if you gender-swapped the main roles? I think it'd play the same way: mostly a mess because of said sloppy storytelling and the lack of a plan going in other than "We're gonna do the OT, but bigger and with a younger cast." Beyond that, I don't think it'd matter. It certainly wouldn't matter to me. Because the dumb stuff that people do in the films, the flaws the exhibit, have nothing to do with whether they're men or women, and everything to do with the decisions they make. To some extent, they have to do with the trope they represent: e.g., the brash pilot whose crazy plan is so crazy it...just...might....work and saves the day. Except not this time, because said pilot was an idiot. Make Poe Dameron a woman and...it's the same story, and it doesn't matter that she's a woman. I mean, you can speculate how audiences would've reacted, but honestly, I don't think it would've made a difference overall.
For purposes of representation/inclusiveness, it's worth remembering that even with their flaws, these characters are all treated as unequivocal Heroes with a capital "H". Rey, Poe, Finn, and Rose may screw up in TLJ, but there's never any question that they're Heroes. And honestly, it's really ONLY in TLJ that anyone displays real flaws anyway. The two JJ entries are just too damn busy to spend time actually exploring character flaws, male or female. Character? Pfft. They ain't got time for character. They have moments they need to get to for the vibes.
Again, this isn't about what the Rage Industrial Complex wants you to think it's about. The fact that Rey is a woman is not why she's poorly written (to the extent that she is). She's poorly written because JJ's films don't really do characters, and Rian Johnson only has one film to do character development for an entire trilogy, all piggybacking off of JJ's "mYsTeRiEs" that never mattered anyway, and then being undercut by the subsequent film.
If you want to be charitable, JJ's style is a big part of the problem, and the tonal and stylistic whiplash of VII to VIII and back to IX are another huge part of it. If it was all just a big rollercoaster ride, people might care less, but sticking VIII in there serves as a massive contrast to the other two films and only further demonstrates how "We're not really doing characters" seems to be the approach to the rest of the trilogy.
Did I lay it on a little thick when I declared that the female characters were 'flawless'? Yeah.
But I was keeping my argument short. IMO the basic criticism still stands. The ST erred on the side of making the female characters more competent/capable/correct, to the point of hurting the realism. And they consistently used the male characters for the flaws/mistakes/failings that were necessary to hang a story together.
As for Leia, I'd argue that they needed Ben to be a disaster and most of Leia's failings were inherently driven by that. They gave her some imperfections out of necessity but they didn't exactly showcase or dwell on it. You have to mentally back-engineer half of that stuff based on the story rather than seeing it on the screen.
We can debate the story-purposes of the failings that were piled onto Luke & Han. But there's no debating that they did pile tons of failings onto them. To the point that Harrison actually found the character interesting enough to play him one more time. To the point that Mark had to mentally rationalize that he was playing an alternate version of the character. I don't think Carrie Fisher was contending with such a shifted character.
As for Rey vs Luke, we're just gonna have to disagree. Luke didn't immediately know how to use a lightsaber without training. He waved that saber around for a couple minutes in ANH against no adversaries - that's it. The feat with the training droid was so minor that Han hand-waved it: "I call it luck." It was a minor card trick with no real effect on the storyline. During ANH Luke's only amazing abilities were the piloting/shooting skills that were clearly explained by his backstory on Tatooine.
Even on Dagobah he was mostly shown failing to do stuff. He slowly made any progress. Luke wasn't shown using the lightsaber very skillfully until YEARS later and after a long training session with Yoda. The first time he went up against Vader he got completely owned and lost his hand. He failed to save his friends, he almost died, and he lost crucial training time with Yoda (that he never got back). He generally failed at everything for most of ESB.
Then after more months/years had gone by, Luke showed up a Jabba's place. Aaaaand . . . he failed to Jedi-mind-trick Jabba, then he almost got killed by the Rancor, and he barely sprang his friends, getting shot in the hand in the process.
Luke did pretty well on Endor. But then he turned himself in to Vader on the assumption that Vader wouldn't turn him over to the Emperor. Wrong. Then Luke tries to control his anger and keep Vader from knowing about Leia. BZZZZT! He failed at all that, and he lashed out in anger against Vader. Then he got blasted half to death by Palpatine. He only survived because Vader stepped in and saved him.
Rey just doesn't have this kind of struggle & failure rate. It's not comparable.
As for the gender-swapping idea? Yes, the ST would still have been a disaster that way.
But my point is: The ST would not have gotten made that way.
The ST's gender-slant was pronounced enough that it would have been recognized as a problem if it had not been pointing in Disney's preferred direction.
My emphasis on: "recognized AS A PROBLEM."
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